I'm just another photo's
by somehowistay
Summary: Don't be blinded by the category. I just had to choose. There's so much more inside this story.
1. Don't let' em say you ain't beautiful

His hands were all over her tiny body. When I say tiny, I really mean tiny. Bones were showing and her skin was pale as the fresh snow on a winter morning. But he didn't care. He was so drunk that he wasn't able to make the difference between the wall and his own love. But once again he didn't care. Since the beginning, he never had been able to make the difference. She was so easy to manipulate. All you have to do is to tell her that you love her. You don't even have to mean it. Just say it and she will be all yours. But the most important one, she will believe you, no matter what you will do to her afterwards. All she wanted was to be wanted and loved. And this boy gives her that, just not in the right way. Well, that's what some people say about their love story. He just don't show it the right way. Will somebody ever will?

Her body was cover with bruises. The contrast between her skin and the purple was shocking. She woke up next to him. She felt like she was going to be sick again so she just left him alone in his bed. Yes it was his. Everything in this apartment was his. He was the man after all. She went to the kitchen to prepare the breakfast. She opens the door of the refrigerator but he was empty. No food. Again. What a surprise? She does have a job but all of her money was going into his account so she never sees it. All of sudden, it just disappear. One morning it was in there and in the same night, the account was empty again. She was used to it. She lives with it and never complains. Because complaining lead nowhere. She decides to leave this place and just go eat outside. She stops at a little café at the corner of the street and order in. She was looking at the boy who sat at a table near her. His hair was cut short but you were still able to see that his hair was curly before and his brown eyes were just staring at the air. He was in another state of mind at that moment, she knew it. A little smile appears on her face, a really tiny one. But it was there. She starts wondering how it would be to be his friend … or even be his lover. She was weird like that. She got lost in her mind and the last thing she knows, her boyfriend is next to her, yelling and the brown eyes boy is staring at them. She was confused. How long he has been yelling at her like that? She suddenly starts to listen to what he was '' _saying_ '' and here comes the tears again. She wasn't going to be weak, not here, not now and not in front of him.

What the hell are you doing here hen? You were looking at this boy like he was a piece of meat! That's how you treat me too? I'm just another piece of collection for you? You know what; you are just a little whore. You are good for physical. For the rest, you are worthless.** DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? YOU ARE WORTHLESS. UGLY. FAT. STUPID.** But the worst, nobody will love you if I leave. So you better stay at home next time. Okay? You better do everything I ask you, otherwise we are over.

Here we go again. She just stood up and left with him. She felt guilty. She shouldn't have look at that boy like that. It was her fault, he was right. Her anxiety starts to show, her hands were shaking and she was biting her lips until it bleed. Inside, she was dying. Dying to apologize to the man who say he love her, to the boy she was looking at and to her. She was stupid to stay with him. She was kind of aware. But she was not able to let him go. Because it's the only kind of love she knows. Her dad shows her first, whit her mom. After that, Jesz came into her life. His name was Jessarae, but he never liked it. I have to say that at first, he was carrying. He was a sweetheart. He really was. But it changes. Their love was real at first. It was the most beautiful love she ever knew. But they lost it with the time, with the seasons, with the wind. One day, she came home, her dad was gone. He left a note on the table saying; I just hate you. It was the only reason he gave her. At that time, Jesz was around for her. She starts to feel depressed. He tried to save her but she was stubborn. At least, that's what he said. He tried but she wasn't listening so one day, he hit her. It just happens like that but it never stops. She just got used to it. She never doubt when he was saying I love you. He really mean it. Sometimes. That's what she was hoping for. She was hoping that he was still in love with her and that like before he would just erase her doubt about herself. She wishes the old Jesz would come back. He was not back yet and she was still waiting. She was still waiting for her love to come back. Will he ever get back to her ?


	2. I'm never good enough

I always told myself; **why do you keep rejecting people?**

When _he_ came into my life, I finally understood why.

The only thing humans are able to properly do is hurting each other's.


	3. Go on and take a bow

She was hiding in the bathroom for an hour now. Her feet were cold but she didn't care. She wanted him to leave, but he didn't. He stayed outside the door just begging for her to get out. The only thing that was coming out of her mouth was; you hurt me again. His response was I know and I'm sorry. She wanted to believe him. A part of her was angry and the other one was just wishing to fix everything and start all over again. Inside of her little heart, there was this empty space that nobody could fill up since her mom left this world. She slowly opens the door and she saw him. His eyes were now little rivers and his cheek were red like he just got sunburn. Yes, he was regretting it. I told you, he was a sweetheart before. He doesn't know how he becomes what he is now; he just does it without thinking. He tried to wipe away the tears but they keep falling. He lifts his head up and he saw that her mascara was all over her cheeks and her eyes were red. Her lips were shaking. She was still upset about everything. He knew he did something wrong. He looks at her like he used to when she would come up to him and tell him all of her insecurities and little secrets that she was hiding. For a moment, he was the boy she felt in love with over two years ago. She was now in his arms and he was kissing her neck. It was a teaser, but she just asks him to hold her, to which he obliges. He has those moments where … he just couldn't be heartless at her. He never really was heartless to her; he just loved her in a different way for a while. He felt like he was back to what he was. The thing is that … we don't really return the same when we come back after a war. He was not a marine or a soldier. He was just in war with himself. Her blue eyes were now closed but she was not sleeping. She was breathing in his cologne and it felt like home again. It just felt like home again.

The next morning, she woke up in the same position she was the night before. In his arms, on the couch and his face was hiding in her neck, under her blond hair, like his. She didn't want to wake him but when she saw that it was almost noon, she decides that he wasn't going to be mad at her. She whispers his name in his ear and he groans. She repeats the action once again. He opens his eyes and look into her blue-gray ocean. She kissed him first. She never did. They both felt in love all over again at that moment. They were fixed. What they don't know is that even if you're fixed, there is always going to be a little crack that will make everything fall again; but for now, she was invisible and it was ok like that. They went to the grocery store and went out for a bowling night. She was happy and he was too. For them, happiness never seems to last long.

It was her fifth strike in a row and mister was getting kind of bored. She knew it. She was going to lose him again. He was slowly fading away. She sat down to the bar and asks for some nachos. She ordered them five minutes ago but she didn't touch them yet. She felt a presence next to her and she thought it was Jessarae so she pushed the presence away, but when she saw he wasn't leaving, she tried to make her message clearer. He didn't listen, since he sat up next to her and took one of her nacho. It didn't bother her; she wasn't planning on eating them anyways. She was fat enough like that, no need to add more.

- What are you doing? She ask the stranger next to her

- Can't you see? I'm eating your nachos. He told her, laughing.

- It is obvious but why mines? Order yourself some if you want! She shut him up with her coldness. She never really acted like that. Maybe her relationship was affecting her more than she thought it would.

He just looked at her. She was cold. She was really cold with people. He recognizes her when she walked in the bar where he was playing with his two brothers. She was hard to forget. He felt bad for her when her boyfriend came into this café that one morning and yelled at her like she was a dog. He really did, and that day, he wrote a song. That's what he was doing. He was putting melodies and lyrics together when words were too hard to be pronounced. It was his way to say what nobody wanted to say clearly. Metaphor was his way of expression. She left the room when her boyfriend came to look after her. His eyes were stuck on him; he was able to feel the anger in his eyes. He knew something was wrong when the blond boy held her tiny wrist strongly that he just looked away. He went back to the stage and sang for her. She stays in his mind like the lyrics of his favorite songs. He was just unable to forget her. Something about her was special and he wanted to know what exactly it was.

The couple went back to his apartment. He was still holding her wrist and she felt like a little kid being grounded by her dad or her mom. She didn't feel love. She surprises herself thinking about the brown eyes. She remembers his smile and how he wanted to be able to talk with her. She pushed him away. She always pushes everybody away. She has some trust issues. Jessarae was nice to her and all of sudden he would yell at her. It was a bipolar relationship. She hates it, he loves it. She was in the bathroom getting ready to go to bed when he comes in. Her hair was in a ponytail and she was wearing a tank top and shorts, the usual, but tonight he wanted her. He really did. His eyes were staring at her body like she was a piece of meat. She asks him to stop but he came closer.

"Don't you dare come any closer."

It came out of her mouth so fast and snappy. She shut her eyes, scared of what was going to happen. His mouth was so close to her ear that she could feel his lips pressing every single note in his sentence.

"Like I care"

She remembers everything even if she wishes she could forget. It all happens again. He will never let her forget.


End file.
